Keeping Exotic Animals as Pets is Inhumane


For this assignment, you will be revising a single body paragraph from your argumentative essay. Mistakes are fine, but only if we can learn and grow from them. Please meticulously read the directions. When you think you are done revising, go back through. Then, when you think you are done again, improve word choice

  • Take the weakest paragraph in the essay (not the introduction or conclusion). Recopy the paragraph into your response. Then, copy it again. At this point, you will have two of the exact same paragraphs.
  • Revise the second version of this paragraph. Complete your revision (additions) in a different color font. If you want to delete information, mark a line through it. Don’t remove any writing completely from the text.
  • After revision, in a third paragraph, explain all of the changes you made.  How do these changes help to create a stronger text? Please note, I expect perfection here. Invest a tremendous amount of time and effort on your revision.


Professors feedback: You fail to provide any evidence in the paragraph. Have there been instances of these animals impacting neighborhoods?  


Some of the animals taken in as pets, including lion cubs, monkeys, and crocodiles, are not friendly and difficult to tame. The animals pose a serious risk to people in the neighborhoods they are taken in and those who come into contact with them. This is because these animals can lash out at their captures. There are incidences when big cats have mauled their owners. While the animals live as they should be within their environment, the danger such exotic animals pose due to their natural survival instincts is enormous, yet suppressing the instincts is inhumane and poses the risk of initiating aggression and anxiety.

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