I need an explanation for this Writing question to help me study.

To transform the email below to an effective message, you will need to do the following: edit the subject line to make it descriptive, rearrange sentences within paragraphs, move sentences from one paragraph to another, revise the wording of sentences, fix grammar mistakes, and delete some sentences.You may also need to add topic sentences (or revise existing ones), add words, and rearrange paragraphs.

As to formatting your revised email, please follow these requirements:

●Add page numbers and center them on the bottom of the page;

●Set all four margins at 1.00”;

●Single space the sentences within each paragraph but double space between paragraphs (like this memo);

●Use 12-point type font; and

●Do not right justify the margins.

Ineffective Email

To: All Department Managers

From:Jeremy Zink

Subject:You Have Made Bad Choices


I do not like to do this, but I must warn you of several mistakes that our managers have made. One employee from our marketing department recently filed a lawsuit against the company and the employee’s manager (let’s call the manager Jamie) because of TWO negative comments the manager made during a performance evaluation.The negative comments resulted in the demotion of the employee.The manager even shared both bad comments with all the people on the marketing team.There are not a reason for said conduct.Come on people–you must do better and must THINK before you act.You should know by now how to THANK.I hope that none of you are dense; if you are, I am offering three recommendations that you must consider and implement.Jamie did multiple things wrong, including failing to monitor the demoted employee’s performance during the year. How could that have happened under my watch?

You cannot accurately evaluate an employee’s performance unless you have a system to measure that performance, such as a template document. This is my first recommendation to you.Do not make things up as you go along. I told you all in my office the other day that you need performance standards. But you cannot hide the standards from your subordinates. You must share the standards with your employees. If you share them only orally, you have done a disservice, you need to state the performance standards in writing–and I don’t mean write them on your walls!

One measure of performance is determining whether your employees have shown good judgment.But there’s other important performance measures you must share with your employees.For instance, you should evaluate employees’ ability to problem solve and should examine whether they met internal deadlines, responded quickly to customers, worked well on teams, and stayed within the department’s budget.

Identify specific areas where the employee did and did not meet expectations. Be honest and realistic with your expectations.You need to formally evaluate each employee once per year (third recommendation). You cannot formally evaluate once every two years.Again, the formal evaluation must be in writing. And you must meet in person with the employee that you are reviewing. In your face to face meeting, discuss your written evaluation.Let the employee know what you think the employee did well and what areas the employee may be able to improve.

Keep a log for each worker.Why keep a log?It is because the performance of each employee under your command must be monitored through the year.This is my second recommendation to you.Jot down memorable incidents or projects in which he was involved during the year. But don’t just keep favorable comments. I know that many of you are understandably averse to placing negative comments in an employee’s file. However, MAN UP! Even negative comments must be included as part of the evaluation process as you evaluate performance during the year.

I understand that giving evaluations can be difficult.But you are paid to do that. During your face-to-face meeting, make sure you expressly discuss each performance factor/skill where you marked the employee as having not met the expectations.Then you should have the employee sign the written form to acknowledge receipt.With careful preparation, however, the process can be smooth and safe. Don’t allow yourself or the company to get involved in any more legal ramifications.

Jeremy Zink

Vice President, Raving Consultants

500 Courthouse Plaza

Jacksonville, Florida




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